Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
