so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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