Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
