They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize