awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
