her vagine was all disorganized.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
