I'm really into asian looking animals
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
