Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
