Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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