he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
dude. I can hear the air.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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