Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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