You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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