So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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