I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
