I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
