You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
