You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
