I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
