dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
