I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
