if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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