i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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