yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
