I bet he comes in French.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
