Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
