It's Friday. Sex?
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
