He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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