do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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