I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
