k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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