so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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