Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
