the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
It was confusing and full of hummus
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
