Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
