i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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