It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize