theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
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