My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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