last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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