Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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