she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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