he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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