never play flip cup with pint glasses
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
