Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
she told me i tasted like america
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
