By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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