I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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