you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
