forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
