So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Floor bacon is actually really good
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
