Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
