It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
