just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
