How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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