Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
