I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Randomize
