Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
