My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Randomize
