it wasn't lemon gatorade
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
My vagina just recognized that song.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
