Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
